1 Year Later…

Today is the day that one year ago, I received my very first injection of testosterone.  On this day, I was a mess of emotions.  I was happy, nervous, determined, ecstatic, hopeful, ready, and finally actualized.  I was ready for whatever life decided to throw at me.  I found who I was and was finally able to make that person visible to the rest of the world.  I’ve never looked back.

Over the past year I’ve experienced a lot of changes, both physical and psychological.  I grown more hair all over my body, my voice has dropped considerably, had muscle mass and fat distribution changes, and haven’t had the dreaded monthly blood-letting since October or November.  I haven’t been referred to as a female for months now.  I’ve grown more confident in myself and more at ease in general.

There have been ups and downs but mostly ups.  I wouldn’t change anything about what has transpired in the last year.  I found a job where I am accepted for who I am rather than what I am.  I legally changed my name to Emmett Liam.  A long relationship ended but the friendship endured.  The possibility of a new romance begins to form.  My family is acknowledging and accepting my transition.  I’ve gained friends and family.  I am loved.  I’ve never felt more complete and whole.

Fall 2004

Fall 2006

March 2008

8 months on T

1 year on T

Videos can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/user/labradork1

Family Progress

So I meant to write this post last week but ended up pulling a 6 day shift at work instead.  Worked somewhere around 58 hours in those 6 days and I didn’t have the energy to write a blog post.  Even just finding the energy to make food was a daunting task some nights.  In any event, my family (minus Dad as he had to work) came up to visit me for a few days starting on July 15th.  They brought me up a car (I had just sold my old truck and needed a more reliable car so we came to an arrangement) and a barbecue because at that time I was just using a little thing you’d take to a picnic.  Since they were coming up during the days I was going to be working, they had made plans to entertain themselves while I was working and we would do something together when I came home.  Made a reservation to go to dinner at a fondue restaurant which was a blast.  I think we spent at least 2 hours there.  One night we had planned to go out to dinner and a movie but due to a headache, we stayed in, ate dinner, played Scrabble, and I introduced them to Eddie Izzard.  That was fun.  Just like old times back home.

The visit was a lot more laid back than I was expecting.  My family is really making an effort.  They are striving to use Em or Emmett and male pronouns.  If they slip up, they corrected themselves.  My mom admitted to me when we talked yesterday that the distance does make it harder since I’m not there all the time.  We generally only talk once a week unless my work schedule goes haywire, so I can see her point.  I definitely felt more at ease during this visit than I have since I decided to start transitioning.  Although, as I’ve been living alone since the 2nd week of June, I had to make the apartment look as best as I could and get used to people living with me, even if it was only temporary.  I wanted to make the place look the best I could just to make sure that my mom didn’t worry about me adjusting to life on my own.  I know she worries about me especially now that I am on my own.  In a way, I’m glad she worries.  It shows me that she still loves me.